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A large part of the reason I don't keep up to date with this journal/use it at all really is because it's more or less pointless. There's one person on my friends list who knows me well enough to understand the motivations behind the things I write without passing improper judgment, and I talk to him about everything important otherwise.
I'm not always the best person with words, I will always be the first person to admit this. As such, I don't always properly express my ideas or feelings... and sometimes at the time of writing an entry I don't see the significance behind explaining my complete emotions on the subject. I've noticed after receiving some aggressive comments from 3-4 people that, basically, I come off as being a pompous asshole. You know what? Maybe I am.
Maybe I don't talk to people because I think I'm too good for them, and I'm the first to admit that I'm a little bit self-aggrandizing... various things throughout time have led me to these conclusions, but more or less this self aggrandizement is me thinking my way of life is better than everyone else. I don't think I'm an especially influential person.
Most of the flak I get is when I talk about things somehow or another relating to when I was in high school, and without understanding the full story behind things these are EASILY misinterpreted, and for that I apologize - I don't apologize for my actions or my thoughts on the matter, I just apologize for not explaining them properly.
Halfway through freshmen year, I basically decided that I was too good for everyone I went to high school with... I honestly have no idea how or when exactly I came to this conclusion, I just know I had a lot of fucked up things going on in my life then and that I was beginning to get really into the rave scene and the punk scene (along with various not so fantastic aspects of these scenes). I began to meet and hang out with a lot of people who were much older than I was, while withdrawing myself from my classmates... maybe because I thought I was too mature for them, maybe because I just stopped caring, who knows? I don't. The point is, throughout 3 years of high school I spoke with maybe 3-4 people outside of classes - occasionally I went to parties with kids from school, but I still stuck with the same people or to myself at them. People didn't talk to me, I didn't talk to them. More or less, I viewed myself as hanging on to obscurity in the high school food chain...
And you know, maybe I wasn't exactly as obscure as I thought I was. I'm a very private person, to me it's really weird when I am approached and spoke to by someone I sort of ever knew, even if it was in a proper situation. I don't want to noticed.
I freaked out when some guy approached me in my organic chemistry class and asked me if I was in his genetics class as well, even though I sit right across from him in lab and there was no reason that he shouldn't of recognized me. That's just how I am. And you know what? That guy happened to be cool as hell and I'm going to have him in several other of my classes in the future.
Some people are happy being ignored and are shocked when they aren't.
That doesn't mean that I don't ultimately appreciate the gesture.
I'm not always the best person with words, I will always be the first person to admit this. As such, I don't always properly express my ideas or feelings... and sometimes at the time of writing an entry I don't see the significance behind explaining my complete emotions on the subject. I've noticed after receiving some aggressive comments from 3-4 people that, basically, I come off as being a pompous asshole. You know what? Maybe I am.
Maybe I don't talk to people because I think I'm too good for them, and I'm the first to admit that I'm a little bit self-aggrandizing... various things throughout time have led me to these conclusions, but more or less this self aggrandizement is me thinking my way of life is better than everyone else. I don't think I'm an especially influential person.
Most of the flak I get is when I talk about things somehow or another relating to when I was in high school, and without understanding the full story behind things these are EASILY misinterpreted, and for that I apologize - I don't apologize for my actions or my thoughts on the matter, I just apologize for not explaining them properly.
Halfway through freshmen year, I basically decided that I was too good for everyone I went to high school with... I honestly have no idea how or when exactly I came to this conclusion, I just know I had a lot of fucked up things going on in my life then and that I was beginning to get really into the rave scene and the punk scene (along with various not so fantastic aspects of these scenes). I began to meet and hang out with a lot of people who were much older than I was, while withdrawing myself from my classmates... maybe because I thought I was too mature for them, maybe because I just stopped caring, who knows? I don't. The point is, throughout 3 years of high school I spoke with maybe 3-4 people outside of classes - occasionally I went to parties with kids from school, but I still stuck with the same people or to myself at them. People didn't talk to me, I didn't talk to them. More or less, I viewed myself as hanging on to obscurity in the high school food chain...
And you know, maybe I wasn't exactly as obscure as I thought I was. I'm a very private person, to me it's really weird when I am approached and spoke to by someone I sort of ever knew, even if it was in a proper situation. I don't want to noticed.
I freaked out when some guy approached me in my organic chemistry class and asked me if I was in his genetics class as well, even though I sit right across from him in lab and there was no reason that he shouldn't of recognized me. That's just how I am. And you know what? That guy happened to be cool as hell and I'm going to have him in several other of my classes in the future.
Some people are happy being ignored and are shocked when they aren't.
That doesn't mean that I don't ultimately appreciate the gesture.
